my biggest problem

I am imaginative, and artsy and my mind jumps around from place to place at all times. Sometimes it’s hard for me to focus and I don’t really know what I want to do with my life.

There are only three things that I know I am truly passionate about: photography (and just self-expression in general), traveling, and people. I don’t want to go into photojournalism, however, and I am just very confused about what I’m going to do with these interests now.

With guys, my mind’s flighty structure backfires often as well. I have someone I used to love very much back at home, but I don’t see a future for us and it scares me to think about how much time i spend thinking about him and talking to him. 

But I’m also starting to really like someone here at Rice. He’s way out of my league and I know he would never go for me, but he’s really the first crush that I’ve had this year that hasn’t felt forced. I didn’t even realize I liked him until I realized how much I thought of him. He is amazing and awesome and I can tell we are going to be great friends, but nothing more.

I’ll never have another boyfriend because I always run away from things I don’t think I will get. If I don’t think I can get any guy, then I’ll always continue running away from relationships.